I was worried the post would be too long to read in 1 sitting, so I decided to publish it in parts because I miss my blog :(
Y’all. I love making subliminals, blockage removals and boosters for myself, but sometimes I want to dramatize and exaggerate my current life. I’m tired of wanting to drown myself out of my current life and watch other’s realities on shows or what they show online.
Now, I’m bored of *that* attitude. I always want to be in euphoria.
💎 Exaggerate, exaggerate, EXAGGERATE, your daily routine!
Before Dawn
If I wake up around and unable to fall back asleep, I’ll have a handful of organic blueberries and a shot of cold brew to wake myself up. I have an early morning class and falling back asleep will throw my schedule off.
In the Morning
Instead of “I wake up excitedly at 5AM,” it’s, “I step out of bed into my cutest house shoes with the sound of my waterfall white noise machine cascading me into a 5:00 morning. Vitamins? In my greens. I already have on under eye masks and a glass of whole starfruit juice for an energy boost. Am I in the mood for more fruit juice, iced coffee or cold brew? Cold brew, then decaf for the rest of the day.
“I am feeling the beneficial effects of coffee every millisecond”
I can’t wait to use my rich b— Breville with my homemade, toasted croissants covered in honey butter with my espresso accidentally tasting the same since I did dip it in. Does white chocolate espresso and honey butter croissants taste weird together to anyone else?
I’m going to have perfect marks when I go back to school. My commute is a breeze & my morning dragonfruit smoothies make the experience even better.
It’s not the writing that should be exaggerated as a point, that’s only being more descriptive. Play a sparkling noise as you wash your face, study, anything! You’re the character you dreamed of.
⚠️ Be ready, this will feel out of body ⚠️
When I feel out of body, I have unlimited amounts of energy, confidence and clarity.
Exaggerate your morning by applying the perfect lacquer you have on your nightstand to stand up tall, a continental breakfast in bed, pulling out your perfume and makeup book to layer your scents. Sheesh, buy an electric kettle for early morning tea.
For dreary days, script a contingency plan such as drinking hot cinnamon tea or mango boba, applying siren makeup with sparkly blues & greens, leaving early to where you need to be, bubble wrapping your personal coffee/tea cup to be used in public. For example, “Rain never showers the same. I look out of my window in wonder with my favorite rain shoes on and how easy my trip will be, but enough daydreaming.
💍💍 Allow yourself to be inspired by parts of your personal favorites that scare you.
What is my favorite color(s)? Wellll, society is telling me my favorite color is pink because periwinkle is unusual for a woman like me. No ma’am???
For example’s sake, I drive a Ford Fusion. Not anymore. I drive a Tesla Model Y to university.
💎💎💎 Now, EXAGGERATE your habits & favorites. Ask yourself why you are really afraid of expressing yourself to the fullest. Is it because you’re worried about how you’ll be perceived in other’s conscious minds? Is the attention you’ll garner frightening?? Or exciting?
You love perfumes? Try ouds with other fragrance mediums to layer your scents like a plush throw on a mattress.
Separate your perfumes by sexiness, sweetness and mellowness.
I love getting my lashes done. Go above and beyond your usual options such as classic, hybrid and volume for styles such as cat eye, glamorous, *more/less fans*, a dollop of color, dramatic bottom lashes or lash lifts with bottom lashes.
I craft inspire lists. These are items I buy at 1 time as a routine shopping day. Wishlists and dream itemsare banned from my vocabulary.
✨✨✨✨ Play your unconscious conscious’ mind games. You know what you really want. Your unconscious conscious’ mind’s world is your fantasy land. Unshackle yourself from self limitations of not being good enough or less disciplined to complete your goals due to your upbringing.
If you lay in bed hours after you’ve woken up, questioning why you won’t get up when you have the energy to get out of bed, write in your script, “I am making omniscient decisions about my life at the speed of the multiverse,” with, “I have unlimited energy and storage for processing ideas for my life [at the speed of the multiverse],”
If you have to ask yourself if you’re 110% in control of your life, you haven’t forced your free will entirely.
Go speak your entire mind when your reputation is questioned in front of others.
Take 2 selfies a day. You need to be very self aware of your beauty and pretty privilege. Do not wait 5-10 years and see how it’s like to feel average.
If you only drink water when you brush your teeth, begin drinking at least 1 bottle of water (16.9 oz) every 2 hours. Water changes your mentality and enforces self-discipline.
Literally embody your feminine archetype. If you’re worried you’ll be seen as an attention seeker because your archetype or femininity is trending on social media, GET OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND SMELL THE ROSES.
Grandiose displays of femininity have ALWAYS been around but we now have pictures and audios within arm’s reach! Wear that outfit you’ve been staring at, hang up a woven teabag full of Epsom salt, orange zest and rose petals on your shower faucet, wear the lipstick that’s been sitting on your counter and speak the language you’ve been practicing for years in public!
Remove self-limiting beliefs and restrictions. You are the blueprint, a sex symbol and inspirational. You don’t need permission to wear what you want and to act emboldened because they’ll copy you anyways. Some people will sell their souls for your voice intonations, skin color and hair.
Pause overthinking. Referring back to displays of femininity, do not waste your time, sanity or money watering down what could happen if you take up space in a room or envision yourself as a desirable goddess.
View your self esteem as a trophy behind glass in a vault. No one can intrude unless they have your fingerprint.
When you’re levelling up it might be tempting to post your progress online to share with others and people who you consider “loved ones” how much progress in life you are making. This is a terrible mistake. Misery loves company and most people who are in a path of amounting to nothing in life will not only resent you for trying to do better, they will try to actively hijack you out of your goals, sometimes with devasting consequences.
There is a reason why we out grow certain communities, certain groups and people we knew for the past, because their tiny (and often times toxic) way of being and thinking represents a cage for you to be locked in. You must learn to move on and place your future self before anyone or anything who’s isn’t conducive to your betterment. Furthermore, people who we may considere friends and acquaintances might hold grudges against us when we make big moves, remember: we see faces, not hearts.
I need this new decade to be a time of saying less and doing more. Let them think you’re struggling, do not show them your progress, act broke, keep a specific image if you need to, but do whatever you need to do to keep your dreams and ambitions to yourself while you reach them. Keep the jealous and energy sucking vampires away from the baby you are creating with your hardwork. Once you’ve made it far away nobody can hold you down. Your results will do all the talking you’d ever need.
Leveling up can be a lone journey, but it’s much better to be alone than surrounded by bad company. If you place an apple in a container with rotten apples, it too will rot. But if you let an apple be in an empty container it will remain healthy for a very long time. You got this.
piece of advice from an old tumblr person: if you are a woman and you are dating a man, do not settle down with, cohabitate with, or marry a man who needs you to do basic things to take care of him. like, if he can’t cook food for himself, go shopping, do laundry, clean a house, keep his own calendar, make his own doctors’ appointments, fill out his own forms, do his own taxes, etc. you are setting yourself up for a relationship full of you caring for another adult like a child.
partners help EACH OTHER. sometimes people have very valid reasons they can’t do those things, but they should also help YOU with things that are hard for you and easy for them, whether it’s basic emotional support, chores, paperwork, making phone calls, etc. if they say they ‘don’t know how’ to do something and expect you to do it instead of learning how to do it, they are not worth your time.
if your male partner’s parents did not prepare him to take care of himself, do not become his second mother. find a partner who can take care of you as much as you take care of him, and can take care of himself as well as you take care of yourself.
and if that means being single forever, get yourself a cat and lean in, because being a grown-ass man’s second momma is a bitch and a half. I’m married to a fairly fucking aware feminist-identified man and he still can’t take care of himself for shit and it is the one major source of tension in our marriage and it has led to so much tension now that I’m in med school that I have repeatedly seriously contemplated divorce. It’s not a small issue, it’s not trivial. You are a PERSON, not an endlessly nurturing selfless machine. You deserve to have your own story, not be picking up socks in someone else’s.
This right here!! I see so many women in my family who do EVERYTHING for the men they married and treat them like kids…honestly, the only thing they don’t do is bathe them. But seeing this my whole life it always made me feel bad and sad for them cause it’s not right. None of the amazing women in my family deserve this! So I promised myself (literally made this promise when I was a child) to never EVER marry a man like that! I literally don’t care, if I don’t find a man who knows how to take care of himself (and me obviously) I’m gonna be single forever with my wealth and 4 cats 😂
GTFO off SA for starters babes! Real talk doe. Here’s my solo freestyling tips ladies that live in large cities!
1) Look like a million bucks. Spurge on a new dress or lipstick to make you feel confident! I always make sure I got my hair done, nails did, everything done BIG before I embark on a solo freestyling mission haha. When I know I look good or sexy, it gives me that extra bounce in my step.
2) Location, location, location. Ladies, I can’t stress it enough. Unless you live in a rural area, you should know the hottest places SD’s hang at. For myself, I prefer lounges, hotel bars, and the occasionally boutique hotel or cafe. Everyone has different spots, but, for solo freestyling (which I prefer because I’m a loner at heart) I stick to my usual spots, sometimes randomly switching it up if there is an event or depending on the season. Men are more likely to approach if you’re alone versus a squad of women because of the fragility of the male ego. I’ve freestyled with other girls before, yet found most of them boring and moody. They would get pissed if men showed more interest in me, can’t complain cause I got a bombass personality and make people laugh, which gets me ahead of the rest. I’ve said it a million times, don’t rely on just being pretty! You gotta let that personality shine! I wasn’t the most confident growing up, but, I faked it until I believed it. Plus, an SD told me once “show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of her…”
3) Make friends with the bartenders. The only reason why I say this is because I used to be one! You got a great resource and wingman behind that bar. They can get you into VIP parties and tip you on celebs coming by. I made good friends with a bartender from Chiltern Firehouse and he always gets me free drinks even when I come with a POT haha. Most of them are used to being mistreated or ignored, so they like being recognized and treated fairly ( I always tip 20% because I know how tough the job is). With solo freestyling, I usually chat them up right away to get a free drink and it has never has failed me. Once you start a fun conversation with the bartenders, other patrons sitting at the bar will join in or share their thoughts ( I usually debate about whats the best drink on the menu and others will pipe in and give their advice)
4) Make up a story as to why you are alone. Examples? Say you’re waiting for a friend but they’re having car or transportation issues. Say you’re visiting the city by yourself just for the weekend. Say you’ve been stood up if you reallllllly want men to pity you and get drunk for free. My usual story is that I’m a flight attendant with Emirates staying near X location and wanted to explore and get a drink by myself because my co workers are exhausted. That way no one will think it’s weird that I come alone often. Men love flight attendants that I will say! But, I don’t divulge many details about my lie and often ask more questions about others ( which is the sure way to get people to like you)
5) Entertain the first man that buys you a drink. Even if he’s not cute, doesn’t look like a POT or SD, do out of courtesy. Remember his name no matter what and use it because people like the hearing the sound of their own name. While talking to him make sure show off your outgoingness to him and every man in that room. Every now and then, sip your drink slowly and seductively, flip your hair over your shoulder, tilt your head and smirk while talking with a fella. Other men (aka his friends or patrons at the bar) will pay attention and try to get involved in the conversation. A man finds a woman more attractive when others are interested in her as well. It’s like women fighting over a pair of shoes on sale, they only find it alluring because others want it too. So just accept one drink if you’re not interested, keep screening the room, and finesse every man that tries to talk to you or join the conversation.
And that’s it folks! Honestly, it too me a while to get better at freestyling alone, but I love it! And I always meet interesting guys, make new friends at the bar, and get a free drink atleast!
🌸 I think I’m going to spend the next year and a half on my appearance and femininity, because the wealthy men around me average 30-45 years old and they will not look at me because I look too teenage.
I noticed it numerous times today when they wiped their eyes and looked away from me. I’m not in a rush.
Just to clarify the initial post was about my upper class white female friends and I understand that working class white women in the UK might not benefit from their white privilege in the same way when class is factored in and have to deal with other stereotypes and obstacles. This reply focuses solely on upper middle/wealthy white women.
I’ll split this into two: career & dating - this ended up being longer than expected.
Career
Okay so as women we all face sexism but white women don’t have to deal with racist preconceptions on top of that. At networking events and any job related thing in the past whether it be an internship or casual work experience I’ve always felt as though I had to go out of my way to prove that I’m not the stereotypical book smart asian nerd with no social skills who grew up in a ~repressed environment because sometimes that is a stereotype that is perpetuated (in the UK).
There’s this documentary ‘how to break into the Elite’ on bbc iplayer and whilst I’m grateful for how it exposes how employers favour white candidates, it always kind of pushed the idea that PoC candidates (especially the kids of immigrants in that instance) might get the best grades but they couldn’t navigate social situations and build rapports well; and institutions such as law firms and banks typically want people who can build client relationships.
My white friends don’t have to deal with these stereotypes and some of them don’t understand how much power it gives them to enter a workplace environment without racial preconceptions. It’s the privilege of having almost a clean slate. I’m already reasonably confident entering these scenarios but if I was one of those friends I would be a lot more confident and take on a lot more opoortunities. Yes I know some white women who take full advantage of this but I know others who claim to want things and don’t put the graft in even though they’d have fewer obstacles than someone like me or a black woman.
Dating
I don’t want to be too repetitive but it’s easier for white women to get across an upper class vibe. Women of colour who are wealthy get fewer slip ups permitted. The main example I can think of is that I have white friends who dress quite badly and inappropriately for particular events but they can still get across the vibe that they’re well off and polished individuals. It is trendy among certain upper class circles in the uk to go for that messy aesthetic and I too took it on in uni but the moment I left I knew I had to polish it up again since as a brown woman I’ll be perceived differently if I dressed in a messy way.
Some of my friends don’t take care of themselves as well as I do and continue to dress like sloppy students and they get away with it but I feel like they could achieve so much more if they got it together and I know I would always be on top form if I was one of them to fully maximise upon white privilege.
I enjoy being paid for, when other women are paid for and not screwing up opportunities to be paid for.
My disclaimer is my language will be crass because I’m phrasing in a way for us to have a mutual understanding.
1. A basic body wave wig isn’t a style. Unless your wig is coming from a stylist who put big body waves into your wig, it will look unnatural and wiggy. The curls are tight in the package. Wash it to loosen the curls to appear more like the picture.
This applies to other wig types. I’ve always believed a straight unit isn’t truly straight until it’s been flat ironed and pressed because it will look lazily done if you don’t do basic maintenance beforehand.
2. Choose shorter or more affordable nails so you can continue to keep them maintained. Overly grown nails look like you neglect yourself and you spend too much on what you cannot afford. Not cute.
3. Wash your face or don’t go out at all. An unwashed face will make your makeup and face look gritty and start you off on the wrong foot. If your face wash makes you break out or wish to discontinue it, at least wipe your face with a face cloth.
4. You need to be the “material” you want to benefit from.If you’re going to be hypergamous, you need to be “hypergamy” material to the hypergamous person.
5. You are gorgeous & hot and he’s not.You can make him feel like it. You’re the bombshell.
6. You’ll be in your persona more often than you think. Choose a persona you can tolerate because you’ll be living and breathing her.
7. You need discipline. There are more luxury ladies that wish to execute their dream personas and less luxury ladies that have executed.
8. This is scary. You’ll be out of your own league until the feeling becomes familiar. Leveled up, luxurious women are few and far between!
9. Choose a persona you can fully commit to or else those who exhibit the persona will run you out. If your persona is fully adapted to your life, you probably see women trying to mimic you but failing. You know what it looks like!
10. You are portraying a fantasy!!! If you’re going to act as a fantasy, you cannot pretend to be a fantasy. If you’re going to be the inaccessible luxurious woman who accompanies the Governor to galas, you cannot keep up what you’re portraying with Dollar Tree habits and experiences!
This is REAL LIFE and you’ll have real life consequences if you fall below the mark. You can be blacklisted and blackballed by the people you want to rub shoulders with. If you have been made fun of or excluded for your persona, take it as a lesson. I’ll make a post about this!
11. Wearing makeup doesn’t mean you were ugly before the makeup.There are basic people out there who’ll make you feel bad for wearing makeup. Just because they’re firm on being au naturel doesn’t mean you need to be GMO free.
12. The most important part of leveling up is mental.You can be miserable and glamorous, but you shouldn’t be!
13. Don’t wear your intentions on your face. People aren’t dumb and can tell whether you’re standing around in a nice store for a white knight to save you or whether you’re actually browsing and a nice man pays for you on a whim.
14. You know your upkeep is very expensive, right? Beauty is my second highest expense!
15. You must invoke a feeling of enjoying to be cared for.Others can tell if you make a certain face more than others. If you always have a bitter face, you’ll be assumed to have a bitter attitude.
16. Practice your emotions for times you benefit. Look like you’ll be eaten up with joy and a man can visualize that even if he doesn’t know you. Be pleasantly surprised with a slight smile and not like you won a sweepstakes if your meal was paid for. Be in awe if you were bought a bag.
17. If you half-ass your appearance & energy, you’ll earn half-ass results. If you always make excuses for why you’re not achieving your appearance and lifestyle goals, excuses are all you have.
18. You aren’t living in a video game. Choose your style, mannerisms and actions wisely because you can’t replay the situation for a better turnout. People aren’t as unaware as they’re letting on.
products that have helped with my hyperpigmentation
alpha arbutin + ha - the ordinary
extreme results, it’s literally been a WEEK and my skin is so much more vibrant and plump
acne solutions clarifying lotion - clinique
a salicylic acid based toner, only used a few nights a week. helps with cell turnover, revealing brighter skin, along with reduced sebum, therefore less breakouts
aha + bha peeling solution - the ordinary
liquid exfoliating facial that speeds up the reveal of new skin layers. strong acids* only use a night a week if you have sensitive skin like mine
im lemon sheet mask - tony moly
brightening vitamin c and hydrating hyaluronic acid both plumped my skin and faded scars.
pumpkin enzyme mask - peter thomas roth
pumpkin is a natural exfoliator and this formula is gentle and works quickly
dark spot repair - urban skin rx
a retinoid that works by pushing the youngest, newest layer of skin up to the surface over time. this product really worked for me with consistent use. I started with just spot treating every night, then went to every other night all over, and finally every night. there were dark spots that had surfaced that I could literally peel right off
tips:
NEVER use any exfoliants in conjunction with each other. too much exfoliating is never good (aha, bha, vitamin c, vitamin a [retinol]) ex. don’t use aha and retinol together
ditch manual exfoliants like scrubs, micro beads, spin brushes, etc. micro tearing is real and is not your friend. it’s also unnecessary, less effective, and needs to be done extremely (nearly impossibly) gently to not have any adverse affects
don’t neglect the basic needs of skin. sure you’re on a dark spot elimination journey, but your skin still needs cleansing, moisture and hydration. use gentle products when using the products on this list. use oils, face lotions and deep/gentle cleansers to ensure the health of your skin
USE SPF!!! it took me so long to finally do myself this favor. I would spend $$$$ on dark spot products then not protect my skin against the sun. if you do that you’re literally asking for your dark spots to be darkened ten fold. no less than SPF 30 will cut it. I use SPF 50. this is the last step in my daytime skin routine.
don’t expect instant gratification!!! dark spots are literally one of the hardest things to reverse, don’t give up. give it a few months to do its thing. it will happen with consistency and care
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